I’ve been reading this delightful little comic for awhile called Perls Before Swine. I LOVE the swine! He’s like Charley Brown, except his world is a bit more grown up.

I’m living in Jackson, KY in a truly ghetto fabulous rental trailer. The trailer itself isn’t that bad, except for the must smell and buckled flooring. In my living room, there’s a futon, my computer (functioning as a TV), a desk, and my shiny, new satelite receiver with 120 beautifully digital channels. My kitchen has a patio table and chairs. On my bar sits Jessica the beta fish. (By the way, Jessica has been blowing tons of bubbles since we got here. I think he digs the place.) My bedroom has my bed, nightstand, and dresser. I am hummed to sleep every night by the sound of my window unit air conditioner and a tiny dehumidifier. It’s all definately worth of MTV Cribs.

I’m teaching Office Technology at the Breathitt County Area Technology Center. I love teaching. It’s a blast. You never know what the kids will come up with each day. The paperwork is killing me, but I think I’ll be alright. Today is the first day I’ve come home earlier than 6PM. I get paid on August 30, at which time I’ll surely tell you I love the job that much more.

Windows isn’t perfect. There’s barely a need for me to make such a statement, but for those of you who may have only been using a computer for a couple minutes, you may have needed warning. Microsoft has gainfully included Windows Update, which is a way to update Windows so that everything is (supposedly) safe and secure. To run Windows Update, do the following:

1. Open up Internet Explorer.
2. On the menu bar at the top, click Tools, then click Windows Update
3. If a dialog box appears asking you if you want to install an updated version of Windows Update, click Yes
4. After the Windows Update page loads, click on Scan for updates
5. There will be an indicator telling you how far along the scan for updates has proceeded. If you haven’t updated Windows recently, this process can take quite some time. Be patient, especially if you’re on dial-up.
6. Once the scan has completed, you’ll be presented with a list of Critical Updates and Service Packs. Sometimes, there are application and driver updates also, but the Critical Updates are the ones you really need to get.
7. To add an update you wish to install, click the Add button below the update. If you want to remove an update, click the Remove button. Note:Critical updates are automatically added to the list of updates to be installed.
8. When you have selected all the updates you wish to download, click Review and Install Updates
9. The download of the updates will begin. Once installation has taken place, you may have to restart you computer.

It is important to run Windows Update at least once a week, or daily if you can. The Critical Updates eliminate a majority of the security vulnerabilities, and render worms like Sasser and Nimda useless. So remember, UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE!

Google, the world’s most popular search engine, has more tricks than a New York brothel. Some of these tricks are as follows:

• Search within a specific site – by searching “site:whateverSite.com keywords” (without the quotes), you can restrict Google’s searches to a specific site. For example, if I typed “site:jerrytravis.com patience” into Google, only jerrytravis.com would be searched for the keyword patience.
• Search for definitions – by searching “define:some word” into Google, you can gain access to dozens of dictionaries. This is especially helpful for specialized vocabularies, such as legal or medical, that may not appear in a standard dictionary.
• Do calculations and conversions – Google will now perform mathmatical calculations for you. If you type in “10 * 20” Google will tell you the answer is 200. Almost all mathmatical notation is recognized. Also, Google can now do conversions. For example, searching “1 ounce in liters” returns “1 US fluid ounce = 0.0295735297 liters” The conversion engine supports most metrics.

This is a very short list of the features I use most often. Click here for a complete list of Google’s features.

Has Windows ever rudely informed you that your computer is low on Virtual Memory? If so, you have run out of swap file space. What Microsoft calls “Virtual Memory” is known as the swap file to the rest of the computing world. No matter what you call it, the swap file is a file or partition on the hard drive that can act as extended system memory if your physical amount of RAM gets full. A hard drive acting as RAM is both good and bad. On the one hand, the amount of programs your machine can load simultaneously is greatly increased. On the other hand, hard drives are much, much slower than RAM (by about 3 orders of magnitude, if you want to get really technical).

Generally, the size of your swap file should equal double the amount of RAM your system has. Windows manages your swap file for you by default, while Linux/Unix requires you to set one up during the initial installation. Even if you have a large amount of RAM, it is recommended that you not disable your swap file, since modern operating systems are designed to take advantage of it.