Personal Updates

I got an email today with a prayer that was read by Joe Wright in 1996 to the Kansas House of Representatives when he was asked to act as Chaplain to the House.  Here’s the prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and seek your direction and guidance.

We know your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good," but that’s exactly what we’ve done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.

We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of your Word and called it moral pluralism.

We have worshipped other gods and called it multiculturalism.

We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building esteem.

We have abused power and called it political savvy.

We have coveted our neighbors’ possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us O God and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent here by the people of Kansas, and who have been ordained by you, to govern this great state.

Grant them your wisdom to rule and may their decisions direct us to the center of your will. I ask it in the name of your son, the living savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

I applaud Mr. Wright for actually giving his opinion about what he feels is right and wrong.  I read this and realized how tight-lipped I had become about telling people what I felt was right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion on what’s right and what’s wrong, especially in an elected body such as the House or the Senate. To totally separate right and wrong from the law is impossible, even if a lot of what governs right and wrong in those contexts is governed by religion. Mr. Wright in no way suggested that anybody had to believe the things his prayer had to offer. Somehow, though, just through its utterance, a great number of people were very offended. How can we go on and on about Freedom of Speech and crucify this man for stating what he believed in…All I know is that Mr. Wright is welcomed in my home anytime, simply because he had the gumption to speak his mind.

When I was a RA at the University of Kentucky from August 2005 to May 2006 I met lots of people and got to experience lots of new things.  One of those people in particular was one of the most energetic, fun-loving, goal-driven people I’ve ever met in my life.  As a freshman at UK in the fall of 2005, Christina Layton came to Jewell as a quiet, polite young lady from a small town in Northern Kentucky…That did not last long!  Soon after the semester started Christina met lots of new people and quickly became a smiling, positive aspect to the worst place I’ve ever lived!  Christina soon became one of my good friends and a wonderful resident to have on my floor, always participating in events and floor meetings and being very active in Campus life in general, and soon learning more about Trav and I than she ever wanted too ;).  To sum her up, Christina is just an all around good girl who I’d recommend for any thing she attempted.
You may be wondering why I’ve gone on for so long about this girl none of you know!  Well, it’s because Christina has decided to take the chance of running her own photography business and I want to help her succeed as much as possible.  Even though we don’t get to talk a lot anymore, I know that Christina is just as dedicated to her photography as she is UK and I’d like to let everyone who visits this site know how to get some great pics taken!  Visit Christina’s website at http://www.grassrootsphotos.com (or click the link in the special offers section to the right) to see what a great photographer she is, and please feel free to let me know if you need more information about Christina, or her fiance Jeff Gora, who made Christina’s website his first as a programmer!

Today, Beck and I stopped at the Dairy Queen in Clay City to get me a Cheesequake Blizzard (with no strawberries, of course). After Beck ordered, we sat in the drive-thru for about 20 minutes. Beck commented at some point that she was going to flip the Blizzard upside down if the worker didn’t to make sure we didn’t sit there all that time for a melted mess of soft serve. I didn’t really think she would do it, but when we got to the window, Beck handed the DQ associate the money, who quickly handed the Blizzard out the window. In one of the smoothest motions I’ve ever seen, Beck takes the Blizzard, flips it upside down, and quickly flips it right-side up, hands it to me, and drives off. Still hanging out the drive-thru window, the look on the Blizzard slinger’s face was priceless…It was definitely a WTF moment if I ever saw one. I laughed so hard I almost dropped the Blizzard. What a day!

It’s hard to believe I used to look like this on a regular basis! This picture was taken in 2003 on my 21st  birthday. I rolled out of bed and headed to the DMV. And no, I didn’t go out drinking that day!

A sad thing that happened to me sometime around 2001 is that I stopped following Major League Baseball. For anyone who doesn’t know, I used to be a baseball fanatic. I watched MLB, college, Little League World Series…It didn’t matter. Baseball was baseball and I was obsessed. If I could do anything in the world and there was nothing to stop me, I think playing in the Big Show would be my #1 choice.

The obsession got pushed aside once college got in the way. The beginning of the season wasn’t practical because it always began just as the spring semester was winding down. The weeks prior to finals week, particularly during my Junior and Senior years, were jam-packed with group meetings and project deadlines. The last thing I had time to do was to devote 2-3 hours to a game. Thus, I would always miss the first month of the season. When I came home for the summer’s, I was so distracted trying to brush up on the fun sides of computing that I hadn’t had time to conquer during the school year (such as learning more Photoshop tricks or perhaps learning Perl) that I just never started watching the remainder of the season. I honestly figured I would get reacquainted with MLB once graduated. Sadly, though, it didn’t happen. For the last five years, I haven’t had a clue who had the most homers, who has been pitching phenomenally, or even who made it to the Series…

This season, I’m trying very hard to become an informed observer of America’s Pastime. I have watched three Atlanta Braves* games so far, and I am very happy to say, I have quite enjoyed myself. I had forgotten how slow and methodical baseball is. I, unlike some people, really enjoy this aspect of the game. It gives me time to think and play armchair manager. And anybody who thinks that baseball isn’t exciting has never sit down and watched a well-played, close game. The pitcher vs. hitter is, in my humble opinion, the most primeval of all sporting situations. One man against another. Sure, the fielders, runners, and weather do play a big part, but for a split second, the ball can only be influenced by one or the other. It doesn’t require a block from someone else or having to take the ball away to do your thing. Both the pitcher and the hitter get an equal chance to do what pitchers and hitters do. That rocks in my book! So much so, that I want to watch it on a nightly basis.

* By the way, I am not one of those self-righteous people who jump from team to team depending on who’s winning. I have been a Braves fan since 1990, when I first took an interest in the sport. I was there when Francisco Cabrerra made it to the plate in 1991 to send the Braves to the series. And, at least in spirit anyway, I was there as the Braves failed to win their division. The Braves will be my team…Win, lose, or draw!

WarioWare: Smooth Moves is one of those games that seems strange on paper. After five minutes of playing, however, Beck and I were hooked. The game is nothing more than a bunch of microgames intertwined with storylines of forgettable characters. The thing that makes Smooth Moves so great is how the microgames take advantage of the Wii Remote.  [Editor’s Note: As much as I like the term Wiimote, it is not the official name for the Wii Remote, and therefore, will not be used in this review.]  As you progress from stage to stage, a narrator introduces different forms, which are nothing more than ways to hold the Wii Remote (which is known as the Form Baton in the game).

Each form has a name that correlates to a (usually amusing) real-world equivalent of that grip would be. The first form is the Remote Control in which the player holds the Wii Remote like a TV remote with the body of the remote parallel to the ground and the tip facing toward the TV screen. The forms are (in no particular order):

• remote control
• janitor
• thumb wrestler
• morter and pestle
• tug-o-war
• handlebar
• chauffeur
• dumbbell
• umbrella
• discard
• waiter
• samurai
• elephant
• mohawk
• sketch artist
• big cheese
• boxer
• finger food
• diner (A, B, and C)

While engaging in many of the positions, you have a tendency to feel very stupid, however, no one who plays in immune to this, so the stupidity is evenly distributed. 

At the beginning of each microgame, you are shown the form you are supposed to use to accomplish the task at hand. Then, a word flashes on the screen to clue you in on what you should do. (Examples are spray, sharpen, collect, and defend.) The game suddenly appears, and you have 3-5 seconds to figure out the right thing to do. Some of the tasks are apparent while others take a few tries and some thinking to figure out what to do. To give you an idea, on one microgame, you’re given the thumbwrestler form and the word spray. You are then presented with hand on top of a champagne bottle. Putting all three things together, you immediately start shaking the Wii Remote as you would a bottle of champagne you are trying to foam up. Then you see a group of ball players and you shake the remote to pop cork and spray them. When you have tried a task a few times with no success and finally figure out what to do, the feeling of satisfaction is great, maybe because of the instant gratification that the microgames provide.

The graphics are stunning. When I was a kid, I dreamed of games that looked like cartoons. With Smooth Moves, this dream was realized. [Editor’s Note: I’m not a huge gamer, so I’m sure some other game achieved this look first. Smooth Moves is merely the first I’ve seen.] Sure the Wii isn’t high-def, but high-def isn’t everything when you get crisply rendered cartoons that look like they’re straight out of Illustrator.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves is definitely a great game. My only complaint is that the loose storylines add nothing to the game and simply serve to slow down the fast-paced gameplay. Otherwise, I would recommend this game to anyone.

If you want a good understanding of anything and everything related to a mullet, check this out. I don’t know who wrote this, but they’ve definitely done their homework.

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking of going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but Uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Jonathan Powell

Dear Jonathan Powell:

This is a common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING! DO NOT TRY TO: uninstall, delete or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to uninstall Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to uninstall or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.

Others have tried to run Girlfriend 2.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 2.0 and a system conflict occurs. This can lead to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button and then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0 – monthly use of utilities such as TLC and FTD. Also frequently use Communicator 5.0.

Saturday, Becca and I slept most of the day, which was great because both of us needed the rest. Upon waking, we decided to be spontaneous and go to Mount Sterling for dinner and a movie. We had a lovely dinner at Melini Cuisina and headed to Tenth Frame Cinema to catch The Hitcher.

After getting our tickets and purchasing my customary vanilla Dippin Dots, we picked a seat about half way up the  stadium-style rows. I was in hog heaven eating my Dots when all of a sudden, I couldn’t breathe. After a sharp cough, I was able to find the source of my respiratory distress. Two people had sat down in the row in front of us. Upon further inspection, I discovered that it was a male and female mullet. The male, trying to be romantic, had apparently put on a mixture of the holy trinity of redneck colognes: Stetson, Brute, and Old Spice. I myself have worn these but never at the same time. Needless to say, this combination is stout. Gradually, I was able to catch my breath in spite of the fact my nostrils continued to burn. We managed to make it through The Hitcher (which was horrible) and made our way to the lobby. I was a bit light-headed but the fresh air quickly restored me. Wouldn’t you know it though, the scent hit me again like a ton of bricks. I wheeled around and spied the male not more than four feet from me. Leaving Beck to fend for herself in the bathroom, I ran out the door and traded the cologne bomb of one mullet for the Doral smoke from another…At least my nostrils ceased to burn.

Isn’t it funny how easily we are forgotten when other’s come into our significant other’s lives?  I was just thinking about how Trav deserted me today for Jeremy and I am sad.  P.S.  I’m totally BSing!!  Hi to Jeremy and I love you Trav!