Six Mullets In a Row

Even while living in Eastern Kentucky, it is rare to see six, full-blown mullets sitting in a row. I managed to see such a sight while visiting the local theater to watch Shrek 2. I have seen a family of five mullets before, but not six. What makes this sighting even more special is that the mulllets were in an extended family configuration. There was the grandpa with the long, silver mullet extending to the top of the buttocks. Then there was the granny, with a gray mullet that barely came past her collar. This would indicate that she probably converted to a mullet only a short time ago. The third mullet was that of the new alpha male, presumably the son of the the grandpa. The alpha male had a curly nest that extended half-way down his back, and he proudly displayed his huge belly, a definite sign that he is able to obtain the most food stamps to support his brood. Next to him sat his prize, the mother of the brood, whose mullet was long and greasy, resembling a rat tail due to its matted state. Beside her were the children mullets (aka ‘chullets’). It was clear that the brood wanted their chullets to have the longest mullets in the world by the age of 18. The chullets’ rear locks had never been touched with a cutting device, yet the front locks were neatly styled in a flat-top. I only wish I would have had one of those phones that takes digital pictures, since I may never see an extended family, six-figured mullet configuration ever again.

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